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They should replace the share button with a Cher button.
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hold my pepsi up high kiss my kittens twice im a loser










dalf:
Dogs from this year’s Creative Dog Grooming Competition in Hershey, Pennsylvania [telegraph/via]
BUT THE TINY OSCAR THE GROUCH ONE IN THE FIRST PICTURE
I have seen true horror.
fuck off
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There’s something wonderful about Marvin Bileck’s minimal illustrations for All About the Stars.
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I posted this on my other more private blog but now I’m reposting it.
Here it goes: Courtney’s story about how she almost met Lady Gaga but came up inches short.I’m not sure why I never posted my experience but now I am. I guess I’ve been too fucking emotional about since it was entirely life changing but here goes. I want you Taga shippers to read this.
My Ball was January 17th in San Jose at HP Pavilion.
So it all starts about two days before the show while I was at Hot Topic (of all places ugh) picking up some last minute studs for my jacket and bra and to find my cousin last parts of his whore outfit.. and we were looking at this damn tutu as a joke and one of the workers there came up to us asking what the fuck we were doing. We told him about how we were going to see Gaga and initiated a conversation where he told us that he met her back in 2009 where she had a Monsterball and had met her multiple times. He then said that he knew which hotels she’d stay at either the Valencia or one that shall not be named (because I’m not fucking blowing up her space
since that gives the chance of more competition for meeting here.)and he told us she’d most likely be at the Valencia.
So…. the day she was supposed to arrive at the show we waiting for about 8 hours from fucking early as hell 5 am to about 1 pm waiting for her to arrive. I swear, everytime a damn black SUV pulled up my heart would stop. After reading tweets about her being in Palo Alto though, we decided to confront the subject to the front desk whom honestly told us she wasn’t going to be there and we should try the other hotel. By that late in the day, we decided it would be better to go back to the arena (where we were earlier that day for a quick check up and climbed over the 20 foot wall to see the tour buses and potentially sneak back there if her bus had arrive but it wasn’t there) in case a line started to form.
Upon arrive at the arena, we see a small group of little hookers sitting and camped out along the side of the arena in the park and decided to ask them whats up.They were pretty damn harsh on insisting that we either join their group and take a number or risk going out on our own. We decided that it’s best to stick with them and took numbers on our hand. I was 13th in line and started to become really really fucking good friends with the 2nd person in line, Andy, and everyone else. While more people showed up, we gave them the same circumstance and all of them decided to join us. (Except one cunt but we will get back to MarcMonster later.)
At around 3pm, Gaga’s security walks up to Andy, Travis, Koda and I and tell us that we were disqualified from the Monsterpit for lining up early (sarcastically which literally made me shit myself) and then told us that it was our job to organize the entire line and number everyone + get them lined up down the way of the park by the back entrance by 6 am sharp or else no one gets in. They gave us another sharpie and then told us that they had a cop waiting out all night with us and set up a bathroom right next the born brave bus area.
As time passed, more and more started to show and Andy, Travis and I went around numbering them all, giving them the rules about what they had to fucking do and getting shit all straightened out till people were asking us if we apart of Gaga’s crew and had met her since we were being so damn serious and professional about our business. But we meant what we were saying and werent going to let one person slip by without hearing the rules or else the entire line could get disqualified from inside the stage. If one idiot threw a fit and things got disorderly, we were all completely fucked.
At about 6pm the day before the show, MarcMonster and his shitty crew showed up, took numbers and began bitching about everything in the area to the point where I was literally going to beat the shit out of him if he dared to tweet about me personally (which he didn’t but still tweeted about everyone else instead talking so much shit he was turning into a pile of feces himself). All I have to say is he is a pretentious little self absorbed fuck and really ruined the vibe of the entire line.
At around 12 am that night it was 37ish degrees out and there was around 100 people in line that we all personally numbered and met, became friends with, and gave blankets to etc etc and stayed busy trying to get everyone in the right places. It was fucking tiring.
The night passed on freezing fucking cold as hell and I sat around playing guitar, smoking hookah, greeting anyone who walked up, and then sometimes trying to sleep which didn’t work cause I was literally frozen to the point where I couldnt feel my feet from inside my boots and my hands were numb. Honestly it was miserable waiting out there and I’ve never been that cold. At one point I was able to shut my eyes for a good 30 minutes and let Andy and Travis take over for a little bit but by the time I woke up again (not sure if I actually fell asleep or just was unconcious) I swear I was hallucinating and so delirious from how cold it was. Sound was echoing in my ears and it took me a good 15 minutes of shaking myself back to alertness before I could figure out where I was and what was happening. It. Sucked.
At 4 am we had the line all the way stretched down the length of the park and we were about 250 fans strong. Literally, I met every single person in that damn line and gave them the run around. It was so fucking great and I made so many close friends that night with Andy and Travis as we got LM accounts and twitter urls. At that point in the night, there was no one who was actually bitching or being a twat to anyone but I could tell there was some serious repressed anger developing in the near front of the line.
Well, 6 am hit and this is where the trouble started. We started to get the people lined up and naturally, there was some intense bitching. Andy, being the mediator, Stephanie being the talker, and myself being the muscle/bouncer to get those who were causing a scene to calm the fuck down before we all got disqualified (if there was any upset or fight it would ruin it for all of us and since I was the most violent and evil looking, this was naturally my job.) The best part is some little flamboyant 15 year old boy started making a huge scene and I confronted him, told him to get his shit together and get the fuck back in line or else he’s in a world of shit which turned into a huge fucking screaming battle and he called me a dyke that wished I had a dick etc etc but eventualy pussied out and went to the back of the line where he belonged. Awkward.
Then, MarcMonster cut directly to the front of the line before the keyholder as if Gaga owed him something. He insisted on not moving when Andy and Steph tried talking to him so I took over and told him to stop being a fucking dick and get back to number 18 where he belonged and to feel free to tweet about it. He threw a fit like a child but eventually moved back into the line (he ended up cutting again to number 7 with about 8 of his shitty friends which pushed me back to no. 22 when we actually got out official wrist bands but I was still in the front row center of the barrier so whatever.) Finally, we got everyone in order after walking the mile long line 7 times and were led in groups of two to the artist entrance where they told us we needed to be there by 4 am in perfect order to be ready to be let in the monsterpit. They gave us the rules for the monsterpit and another wristband with another number on it to save our spots in line and said we need to be in numerical order by 3:30 or so. I was now moved down to 22 because that little bitch and his friends cut again right before getting our numbers. If I was anywhere else and didnt have the chance of meeting Gaga taken from me, I would have flipped my shit and probably gotten violent but oh well.
After that, they allowed us to go change and eat for a few hours and if we wanted to, we had early entrance into the Born Brave Bus tour at 2 pm or so. Part of me didn’t even want to leave
I went home ate and changed into my hooker studded outfit that I worked on for months and made my way back to the arena without my cousin who was slacking and sleeping (fucking nondedicated motherfucker) and got in line for the Born Brave Bus.
This is how I looked
with my handmade jacket like this on the back
And this is where it gets real.In my bag I had 150 dollars worth of engraved lighters and flasks for Tara and Gaga. One read “Drunky Gaga” in sterling silver and black while the other said “Drunky Tara” (yeah a couple gift bitches) and then a gold engraved “Princess High” lighter that was engraved in black words for the fame for Gaga herself. I knew I had one chance to get this shit to Gaga and the moment I either saw Cyntha, Tara, Starlight, DJWS, or Breedlove I would need to make a move. This is them:
So I entered the gates and immediately signed up and asked around for who was there. The only person there that early was Breedlove so I quickly ran to his bus, shaking my fucking ass off cause I was nervous.
I walked in and greeted him and he told me how great my outfit was and how he could tell I was a dedicated little bitch. I got straight to business and told him that I had gifts for Gaga which he first brushed off and told me to leave them on the counter. Knowing that wasn’t good enough, I pulled them out of my bag and showed him personally, not letting him bring his attention else where. The conversation is as follows.
“Oh my god, you really got these for them?!! Hold on Courntey, sit here in the back of the bus and let me talk to these guys for a little bit.” and he started talking to fans, let them leave and then didn’t bring anyone else into the bus and told me to lay the gifts out on the table so he could take a picture and send it to “someone.”
He took a picture of the gifts and then became really serious while I started to tear up and I can still remember this perfectly word for word.
He told me “I just sent a picture of what you got to Tara, whos with Gaga right now and I told her to show her and I told her what you looked like. Will you be in the Monsterpit?”
I immediately started crying and told him yes, I was going to be in the front row with a huge lime green sign that said “TAKE US BACKSTAGE.”
He then became more serious started talking again. He said “Listen, I need your phone number. You’re going to get a text from a *** (area code) number, that will be me and I’m begging you not to give my number out to anyone. I’m not supposed to do any of this but you’ve done too much and Gaga needs these gifts.”
I started crying more and agreed and gave him my number and hug, thinking that was the end of this, ready to leave but then he grabbed me by the hands and told me
“I’m not supposed to promise you anything but… I can say you will give these gifts to Gaga herself. You know when she takes fans backstage for Marry The Night, be ready to be one of the 8 because she knows who you are now.”
I gave the other guy in the bus my ipad to take pictures together and he got a snap of this actually happening
Yeah I was hysterical now and that’s my crying face. He said that he would do anything he could to get my dream to come true and gave me a huge hug as I was crying in his arms and told me to pay close attention to my phone.
I left his bus in a huge haze and walked around the rest of the tour lost in my own head and unable to talk to anyone. After another 30 minutes, I went to go line up at the side entrance and waited for another 2 hours in a total blur, checking my phone now and then with no text messages from the area code he told me.
Cynthia walked by the line with Starlight but was too far to talk to and then later DJWS walked by as well and we all screamed for him.Before I knew it, it was happening. They started opening the doors and took the keyholder back and the one friend she brought with her (Andy who was 2nd in line) and then let the rest of us walk in. I started feeling so sick from nerves and happiness and made my way through the hall completely brain dead. At one point, they made us wait right before the stairs for 15 minutes and I paced back and forth going crazy.
I felt the urge to check my phone, and heart beating out of my chest, pulled it out of my bra and opened it.
There it was. The fucking number saying one new text.
He asked me if I was in the arena and what spot of the barrier I was at exactly, I told him I was going to be front center and he said he would come down and talk to me if he had time, but couldnt promise me anything and told me to keep my eyes open and enjoy the show.
Oh god. I can’t even tell you the amazing feeling it was to walk down the stairs into the arena to see that huge fucking castel in front of us, and that little hole in stage. We walked calmly and then eventually entered underneath between the front of the stage and the entrance and were led into the pit itself. I ran right to the front and grabbed onto that metal fence as hard as I could and did not let a single person move me. I thought I was going to die and started crying and hugging my friends with an overwhelming feeling of “I FUCKING DID IT.”
Here we are, right in front, with a security guard we made friends with taking the picture.
The rest of the show between then and Gaga coming on is not really worth telling. I basically had a panic attack and danced my ass off to Madeon and told Starlight she was a hot bitch and she winked at me.
Before we knew it, the lights dropped and we waited for Gaga as more people entered the arena and the pit became tighter and tighter and I started to get pushed more to the center as more people squeezed in but I would not let go of that bar no matter what.My heart stopped when the ambient noise of her show started and the lights lit up. I cried so many times. When Gaga first came on I couldn’t breath. Of course, during HWU(OTRTL) she doesn’t stay at the stage very long so I just enjoyed the show and took pictures. Government hooker is the first time she came to the center, right in front of me and the pit lurched so damn hard, almost making me lose my grip.
It wasn’t till Born This Way that I made eye contact with her for the first time and I wanted to die. I could see the sweat dripping off her like holy fuck. I held my sign up anytime I could and the show kept going. Another highlight is Bad Romance where I did the full choreo in the little space I had and she smiled at me again. The same thing happened in Judas and I wanted to die. At one point, right as she finished a sentence I screamed I LOVE YOU GAGA, initiating a few other’s to scream it too…. and…. she said “I love you too” with a smile in my direction. I cried again.
I had another moment where during right before the bass drop of Heavy Metal Lover I yelled at the top of my longs “OKAY BITCHES GET READY TO POP YOUR PUSSIES” an everyone was like “FUCK YEAH” and yeah… haha
During the entire show, anything thrown on the stage was promptly thrown off by the dancers (except for one vest Gaga picked up and wore) but while she was directly in front of me, looking me in the eye, I took off my own studded glove and threw it to her, slightly missing and having it land over towards Jeremy. As the song ended, Jeremy picked it up and took it backstage with them and my heart melted.Now things get a little crazy. The show was getting closer and closer to being over so I took out my gifts and waited for Edge Of Glory to end and Marry The Night to start… I remember her taking quite a long time to re-enter the stage and when she did, she began an acapella-ish version of it and walked around the stage a little bit. I held out my flasks over the gate and reached them towards her, half wondering if I should thrown them or not. At this part of the show, I made the most eye contact with her and I swear to god she stared me down for an entire verse, stopping in front of me and reaching her hand out.
Of course I was crying and screaming at her to pick me but she dropped her eyes and walked away. The entire time, I was waiting for her drop the robe she was wearing and start the actual version of the song but that never came to be and she exited without bringing a single person up with her.
Before I knew it, the lights turned on and Cake Like Lady Gaga started playing and people started leaving. I just stood on the gate, crying and not moving feeling crushed yet satisfied at the same time.
I stayed as long as I could until the security literally kicked me out and Travis said we should go to merch. I kept looking around for Breedlove or anyone but saw nothing and made my way to exit.Before I walked under the stage, I pulled my phone out and check it.
I had about 4 missed calls from Breedlove from the last 5 minutes and a few texts asking me where I was. As a new call came in, I immediately picked up through my tears and listened to what he had to say.
He told me I needed to get my hooker ass back to his bus immediately and that he was so sorry that I didn’t get upstage. As I ran through the arena hallways with my huge as heeled boots, I made my way out of the main entrance and ran to the bus, looking through the dark for Breedlove anywhere but couldn’t see him. A second later he called me again and I picked up and he said he was on his way as fast as he could. Before I knew it, I saw him walking up to me with his arms open for a hug and I ran and grabbed onto him crying my little eyes out and he told me it was okay and things would work out.
He told me he was so fucking sorry and that Gaga wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t handle bringing anyone back except the key holder that night and I told him it was okay and that I would have my moment eventually and even though I wasn’t going to give Gaga the stuff personally, she would still receive it because he would personally deliver it to her for me.He said “Courtney, I’m really not supposed to do this and could get in a whole lot of trouble, but give me the flasks and lighter and I will go give it to Tara and Gaga later that night or tomorrow. This is worth it and you deserve this much after how hard you tried.” and I started crying and thanking him to end and handed the smal little boxes over.
He told me he would text me later and let me know how things went and gave me the biggest hug of my life and told me that I needed to find him the next show I was at and it would all eventually work out again.
I gave him one last hug and walked away to go sit along the side of the arena and cried my eyes out.Eventually after I don’t know how long, I met back up with Travis and he bought me the giant tour flag and we went out and got food (I spent about 30 dollars on comfort food from assorted fast food places and then passed out at home.)
The next morning I woke up and texted Andy and asked him how meeting Gaga went and he said there was something very very wrong with her that night and she seemed either extremely sad or angry and wasn’t sure if she even liked him since she spoke so little and seemed if something was truly upsetting her. (Ironic right since now we know what was going on).
I thought it was really really really strange and felt uneasy yet happy that I hadn’t met her in such a state.About an hour later I received another text from Breedlove telling me how much Gaga appreciated the gifts and that her and Tara enjoyed drinking jameson with them and that she loved the note I wrote her and she would try to follow me on twitter (never got around to that) and that she couldn’t wait to meet me another time.
I tried to avoid texting him much after the small conversations we had that day and usually stick to tweeting him since he followed me that night after the show until the day Gaga announce the cancelation of her tour in which I sent him and her all my love and best wishes and we spoke for a short period.
To my knowledge, she still has the lighter and flasks cause Breedlove said she kept them and that’s all I need out of the situation.It was the best day of my life and I owe Breedlove everything.
Anyways, this is what become of me weeks after the show.
Yeah. And I’m still like that these days.I may be seeing her on the 2nd of July if she’s there again in San Jose so we will se what happens. I already requested a week off work and if the rumors are true, I’m meeting that bitch one way or another.
(via iloveyougagaloo)
I forget how long Rihanna has been around